In case you hadn’t noticed, Summer is finally here. Took bloody long enough, but finally the British public can get their pasty legs out and burn their t-shirt marks firmly into their arms and backs for the summer - yippee!!
Chris and I started our summer off with a cheeky pub dinner at The Royal Standard, a favourite place of ours to sit in the garden and relax. There weren’t too many wasps either, so I didn’t do my crazy ‘i’m scared of wasps’ dance which makes others think: “Oh look, that nice boy over there is taking out a mental lady on a day out. Good for him doing his bit for charity.” I hate wasps, so i do everything I can to get out of their way, which is particularly difficult as they are apt fliers and I am a chunky woman with no eye and hand co-ordination. Bastards.
Also, this beautiful weather and heat has made me realise that I made a mistake on my new work wardrobe. I didn’t really think over the fact that I won’t really want my new work mates, who I need to make a good impression on, seeing too much of my pasty legs and all the dresses I bought are relatively short. Don’t get me wrong, I ain’t no Victorian age prude, but no one wants to see too much Casper white, orange peely leg (mmmm nice picture for you there )and even though I am trying this new thing called exercise, let’s be honest I aint gonna be no Beyoncé in the near future! So, I thought I want to be relatively fashionable, smart/casual so naturally I thought the perfect thing to buy would be a maxi skirt.
Now, men, if you are ready this and thinking what the jazzle is a Maxi skirt? Well let me tell you! A maxi skirt is essentially like a maxi dress, but in a skirt format. Now men, if you are thinking, what in the heck is a maxi dress? It’s those floor legth dresses that you may hate because you can’t see girls legs in them. I’m pretty sure that ‘waheeeey lads lads lads’ type would call ‘not good skirt’- at least in my imagination they would. Either way, I bloody love maxi dresses, they hide your lazyness of forgetting to shave your legs, hide bloated bellies and could act as a tent for animals in the monsoon rains.
Maxi skirts on the other hand should come with a health and safety warning when wearing in the office. Jesus, I nearly killed myself going up the stairs on my way in, I kept on catching it as I went up the stairs. Next stage was when I went to roll out my chair, my skirt got caught in it which left me grubbling. But the one that took the biscuit was when I would stand up, I would stand on the hem of the skirt and show my new work mates a lot more than just my Casper white and orange peel thighs. All of that plus I was aware it was relatively see through so I had to make sure lighting on me was minimal and my long top was hiding my rear… So I need to rethink the maxi skirt idea.
Now I’m going to saunter off and enjoy the sunshine without my maxi skirt. <3 Enjoy one of my fave (yes actual fave summer songs) whilst your sunbathing: